I am in a vortex of obligation.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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