Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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