I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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