I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
