so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
