I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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