I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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