Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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