Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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