Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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