you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
