Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
