I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
