I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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