Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
is that a dick in a sweater?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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