i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
