So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
They have beer where we have blood.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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