Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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