And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
We're too hungover to prance.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
