Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
