When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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