he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I deserve to be covered in dicks
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Im part way to drunk.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
