...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
too bad you live with your parents still
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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