Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
