Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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