she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
