my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize