Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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