is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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