I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
