ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
