...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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