I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
