apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
