He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
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can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
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you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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