I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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