jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
