Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
FUCK WHALES
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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