I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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