Already got asked if we're dating
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
i need some magic done to my vagina
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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