remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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