Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
