ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
