just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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