She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
