oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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