Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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