Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
