Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Randomize
