i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
