let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
