I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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