For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
