he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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