doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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