i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
