We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
