I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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