My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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